


of strawberry shakes and long nights

by peachygaskarth



Category: All Time Low
Genre: Deaf Character, Depression, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:39:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachygaskarth/pseuds/peachygaskarth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically a timeline au with deaf!zack and a whole lotta angst</p>
            </blockquote>





	of strawberry shakes and long nights

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea where i got the idea for this, i'm pretty sure it came to me in a dream. i am a complete amateur so i apologize in advance.

a message reading "bro i have the perfect bassist for your band, super good at bass he's been playing since he was like five, nicest kid, skateboards too, he goes to the high school near my house" sent from a friend was exactly how alex gaskarth, jack barakat, and rian dawson wound up sitting at a table at the 80's diner across from a broad, very quiet figure. 

alex made the first move towards him, poking his hand, which had been playing with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. the figure sat up straight, the first time any of them had actually seen his face, previously hidden under his black hoodie. all three of the boys could agree that the boy had a nice face, strong chin and a nice jawline, complemented by his bright green eyes, and dyed black hair with a few blond highlights that hung over his eyes, he seemed friendly looking, and approachable, despite the circumstances. but, upon making eye contact, alex shrunk back into his seat, no longer brave enough to talk to the kid. 

it was now rian's turn to try to get to know the guy, being the kind human he was, he honestly felt bad for the poor kid, set up with a band that was hardly a band, that he couldn't even talk to. the fact that he was deaf, but was recommended as a bassist was another question going through all of the boy's heads, but it would be saved for another time, after they actually learned the kid's name. 

rian waved his hand in the kid's face, figuring that he needed his attention, and that was the best way. the kid looked up and straight at the three of them, all squished together on one side of the red booth, they all looked entranced by him, staring like he was some kind of exotic zoo creature. 

rian, then finally mustered up all the courage to say very slowly, and very articulately, "CAN........YOU.........READ..........LIPS?" 

this question was answered with a snort and eye-roll from the other side of the table from the asker, but then a nod. he held up his finger in a "1" and reached into his backpack that sat next to him, on top of his skateboard (all three boys were happy that at least one part of the bassist recommendation didn't lie).

after rummaging around in the backpack for a while, he finally pulled out what he was looking for, a notebook and pencil. the whole table sighed in relief as the figure grabbed the pencil, pushed away jack's previously ordered fries that were getting cold and wrote  
"Hey! My name's Zack :)," setting down the pencil on the hard table top. 

rian quickly grabbed the pencil and scrawled below zack's message;  
"Hey Zack, I'm Rian, thanks for coming to meet with us!" 

zack gave a quick nod and smile, and held up the pencil, moving it back and forth from alex to jack, jiggling it in the air as if to say "who's next?," and then setting it down again. 

jack, the only member who so far had not yet interacted with zack, sucked in a deep breath and grabbed the pencil off the yellow table top, and started writing on the next page of the notebook in his messy scrawl, it read;  
"HI i'm jack :) no offense or anything but can U actually plan bass or not??"  
alex and rian simultaneously let out a sigh filled with embarrassment, and annoyance despite the fact it was the question racing through everyone's minds, they just hadn't planned to ask it so soon or so harshly. 

alex quickly whipped the pencil up from where jack had dropped it while zack finished reading it, snatched the notebook and wrote  
"Ignore that, I'm so sorry! He literally has like no filter, you don't have to answer it."

zack looked up from reading both alex and jack's notes with a smile, exposing his perfectly white teeth. he picked the pencil up, biting his lips in concentration, and carefully wrote;  
"It's okay, I get it! The answer is yes, I can play bass, I've been playing since I was five. It's all vibrations you know, so I just feel the vibrations and it works." 

the other side of the booth breaths a loud sigh of relief, taking advantage of the other boy's lack of hearing. rian grabs the pencil for a final time, as alex asks for the bill to pay for jack's french fries and the three strawberry shakes they had ordered but had been too caught up in their newfound friend to eat. rian writes;  
"You seem super cool Zack, there's an extra bass at Jack's, do you want to come over for our first ever full-band band practice."

this earns another beaming smile from zack, and therefore all time low is formed. 

of course there is some discussion between zack's parents and the boys, about how they're going to probably have to learn ASL and how they're going to have to keep a close eye on zack, because a lot of the time he doesn't advocate for himself, and how they're going to have to be his ears, and his voice, but overall everyone is supportive of their new member and the band. 

it takes a little while for the band to get used to zack. it's not his deafness that was hard to warm up to but more his tendencies to yelp at times, whether his excited or upset, or just happy. he tended to do it more when they had just met, and none of the boys really knew how to communicate with him, but even after the boys learned he did it occasionally, kind of subconsciously, like he didn't even know he was making any sound. later, the boys bashfully realized that he most likely doesn't know he's making any sound at all. 

also, zack never really talks anout himself so it's hard to figure out if he's hurting, or if he's seen someone say something to offend him. jack, alex and rian all know that zack has a hard time sometimes, whether it be not being able to understand someone or someone saying that they don't think he deserves being in the band, he  
takes it all to heart. that's why all three (even carefree jack) know it's important to check in with zack whenever possible, they're in a band together after all. 

after a few years of after school band practices in jack and rian's basements, all time low begins to grow bigger and bigger and then they're no longer playing house parties, but instead opening up for local bands and going up and down the east coast opening up for whoever, then before they know it they're on warped tour, and then headlining, and it all happens so fast, it feels like no one can catch their breath. 

but it seems like they're all okay. jack and alex start dating after both confessing their love for each other, and rian found a girlfriend who is seemingly perfect for him, but zack still feels empty. he refuses to admit that something's wrong, but at the end of the day, when he crawls into his bunk above jack's, where alex has crawled in and is curled up next to jack, watching a movie, and across from rian who's skyping his girlfriend, he does feel like he's not quite right. 

the hardest day for zack comes on a foggy london morning. they're sitting in the green room of the venue they're playing, they've just come back from an interview and since they're overseas, zack's usual interpreter couldn't come. the replacement was annoying, and only knew BSL so he missed half the interview. if that wasn't bad enough the interview was just him and jack, who was too hyper to notice that zack was struggling. luckily the interviewer seemed a little weary of asking zack direct questions, which on normal days pissed the whole band off, but today zack was so relieved he could hug the girl asking the questions. 

now in the green room, jack and alex were both taking up the entire couch kissing, and cuddling, being sickeningly cute. rian was sitting cross-legged on the plush chair in the corner, coffee in one hand, and phone in the other, more than likely texting his girlfriend. 

zack wanted more than anything to scream at the top of his lungs, to shout at alex, jack, and rian, tell them he wasn't okay, and he needed help, that he was so fucking sad, and lonely, but he couldn't and that's what made him angrier than anything. angrier than at the fact that none of them were paying attention to him, and hadn't in the past 12 hours, angrier than at the fact that he had already had such a shitty day, first the interview and then finding out there wasn't anywhere to put his weights in the venue, even angrier than at the fact that the band they were opening up for had made fun of him in front of his face last night. 

zack was so angry and sad, and he just wanted to curl up in a ball and scream, so the world could feel his pain, so the world could HEAR his pain. 

so he did. zack screamed and screamed, placing his hand on his throat to feel the vibrations echoing through his rarely used vocal cords. zack watched as rian, alex and jack all looked up abruptly, almost in sync upon hearing his slightly off screams, pierce through their ears. zack watched as three members of the crew, and their manager matt flyzik rushed in, after realizing the screams weren't coming from jack or alex but zack, strong, calm, silent zack. zack watched as alex, rian, matt, and alex's guitar tech ran towards him, seemingly in slow motion. 

then, zack shut his eyes, tight. he didn't stop screaming, but he shut his eyes as tight as he possibly could, no one could stop him now, he could scream until his throat felt like it was bleeding. 

zack felt as jack sat down next to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it gently, zack felt as alex carefully grabbed his head and held him against his chest. zack felt rian rubbing his back in slow circles. zack could feel the vibrations shaking through alex's body, zack could tell alex was comforting him, even though he couldn't hear it. and that felt really fucking good. 

zack opened his eyes and softly brought his head out of alex's arms, his cheeks stained from the silent tears he had shed, and his breathing hitching, his bloodshot eyes looked around the room, everyone's eyes were wide open in concern, and it seemed like half the population of the venue was there. he saw alex call him with his name sign, a "z" combined with the sign for happy, zack turned towards him, and alex gave him a soft smile, raising his hands and shaping his fingers into an "o" and then a "k," then pointing at zack, zack just shook his head, and alex nodded, pulling zack to his chest again. 

two hours and a bottle of jack daniels later, zack, jack, rian, and alex understood each other. there was a lot of apologizing from alex, jack, and rian, and a lot of crying from zack, but they all finally got it. zack was okay for the first time in a very long time. zack loved those three boys so so much. more than they could ever understand.


End file.
